St. Louis Boy and Yankee Jew (Or, the First Weekend, Part Two)

(Continued from previous post.)

Standing outside of Jew-Fro's door, I decided to meet up with my friends who were still in St. Louis Boy's room (or so I assumed).

As it turned out, in the five or so minutes during which I was occupied with JF, everyone had left for the evening. I told SLB what had happened next door, and he for some reason found the situation absolutely hilarious.

After explaining to him that I had no idea how to get back to my dorm, especially in the dark, he asked if I wanted to stay in his room.

Name: St. Louis Boy
Age: 19
History: Met him the second day of school. Quickly became a close guy friend.
The Catch: St. Louis Boy appears innocent at first...almost like someone you think you can confide in...but the real SLB (SOB, perhaps?) is pure, backstabbing teenage girl. Can't keep a secret to save his life, and is a serial gossiper.

We watched television for a little bit until he informed me that he was growing weary. I was, too, and we decided to turn in for the night.

It was at that point that I realized SLB had no futon or couch in his room...not even an air mattress or a sleeping bag in sight. I looked around, wondering what the sleeping arrangements were to be like, when he answered my question for me.

"Here, I have an extra pillow. My bed should be big enough if you don't mind being a little close."

I was a little surprised, but not really fazed. SLB at that point was my best guy friend at school. Sharing a bed...albeit a single bed...wouldn't be that big of a deal, or so I thought.

As we settled ourselves beneath the covers, I could feel my body fading fast. I was almost in my REM cycle when I felt a warm hand on mine, although I was too sleepy to really pay it much notice. That is, until he kissed me.

What happened from that moment on is anyone's guess. While my body was technically conscious for most of the ordeal, my brain was largely asleep. It wasn't until I awoke early that morning to see him laying next to me that the event fully registered.

I opened my eyes to find SLB already awake, laying there, it seemed, waiting for me to wake up.

"Don't tell her about this, okay?" he mumbled.

The "her" SLB referred to was my best friend at the time...we'll call her Yankee Jew. (Note: I've got nothing against Judaism. It just seems that the shadiest characters in my life tend to be, well, Jewish.)

Name: Yankee Jew
Age: 18
History: Met at Freshman Orientation before school began. Decided to room together, until she flaked.
The Catch: If Yankee Jew and Regina George duked it out in a match after which the winner received the title of "Ultimate Life Ruiner" (not most popular, mind you), Regina would run away in tears before the second round. Yankee Jew spreads rumors like wildfire. YJ, believe it or not, was my very first frenemy. Ever.

In any case, I'd noticed a bit of chemistry between YJ and SLB. As expected, she asked me that evening what had transpired the previous one. The conversation went something like this:

YJ: So, what happened between you and SLB last night?
Me: Nothing at all. I needed a place to sleep, and we shared a bed. We're just friends.
YJ: That's not what he said.
Me: What?
YJ: SLB told me y'all hooked up.

At this point, I was utterly baffled. SLB had specifically told me NOT to mention our tryst to YJ, right? What gave?

But, now that she knew, there was little use in denying it. So I didn't bother to.

I didn't hear from SLB for days after my conversation with YJ. Finally, I took the bait and called him:

Me: So, I thought you didn't want YJ to know about what happened.
SLB: Yeah, I didn't. Thanks for that.
Me: What? You were the one that told her.
SLB: ...Why would I tell her something that we agreed to keep quiet?

In a state of complete confusion, I called Yankee Jew, who oh so casually admitted that she had, in fact, told me that SLB admitted to it all when, in fact, he'd told her exactly what I had. You know, not a big deal at all.

In case you haven't caught on yet, YJ essentially fabricated SLB's confession to coax one out of me.

Sneaky. Underhanded. And slightly brilliant. A true mean girl.

We forever hear these tales of the cold-hearted backstabbing that girls are subjected to, beginning usually around puberty and lasting until...well...forever. Why do girls play these games? How much satisfaction is there in seeing a frenemy squirm?

Whatever the case, from that incident until we stopped talking for good, I divulged few personal details to YJ. Anything that could possibly be manipulated and fed to the rumor mill was kept to myself. You might think that the kindest, most open people are the ones with the least worries, but after I made a personal promise to block YJ's information highway, things in my life became less complicated...at least, for awhile. I do believe that this is a life lesson of sorts.

Like an antelope in a sea of lionesses,
R

Have you ever had a frenemy? Who was your first? Whisper it to me in a comment.